An Open Letter to my (Republican) Father

I will start by saying that I do not believe in political coercion. I know there will always be people who do not have the same politics as I do, but I can't continue pretending that this issue doesn't matter to me.

Dad,

I love you, and I respect your right to your own political beliefs. I get that you are, for the most part, a fiscal conservative and socially liberal, and I think that is fine. I even agree with you on some things, though admittedly most political policies are not those things. The problem that I have is that I am a lesbian. A young lesbian woman with a long, hopefully happy life in front of her, which you have graciously and willingly provided.

Let me tell you a few things about the candidate I'm pretty sure you're voting for. Perhaps you know these things already, but I think it can be easy to write off his conservatism because he was governor of Massachusetts.

He doesn't think employers should be held accountable for firing me solely on the basis of my sexuality, which I would hope you find a little uncomfortable, since you'd like me to have a job and support myself. When he was governor of the "liberal gay paradise", Massachusetts, he supported an amendment to their constitution that would ban gay marriage, which deeply troubles me. He also supported the Federal Marriage amendment, which would have defined marriage federally as between one man and one woman.

Now, I don't frequently discuss such things with you, but I'd like to get married one day. I know I don't seem like that type of little girl, prancing around, imagining her perfect wedding, but considering my options right now, I can only imagine moving abroad or having a destination wedding. If Romney were in charge of the LGBT issues (and you would like him to have at least four years to change my life), perhaps my only option would be to reside in a foreign country, so that I would know my partner could visit me in the hospital, I could be covered under her insurance (because let's face it, I want a career in the arts, the only way I could afford health insurance would be if she had it), and I could easily start a family, knowing even if she is the biological mother, I would still have the same access to my children in the case of her death, or the dissolution of our marriage. Domestic partnership isn't the same. I hope you wouldn't try to tell me that.

Speaking of children, if I were to have any, I'd be lucky to be able to adopt or even have my name put on my child's birth certificate, if my partner was the biological parent, because Romney doesn't think gay people make suitable parents. Could you imagine not being able to legally acknowledge me as your child? Perhaps right now you'd like to, but in all seriousness, in a critical situation, or even a less than critical situation, it's necessary to have the legal documentation of parenthood.

Really, what this all comes down to is that Romney doesn't see me as a human being. To him, I must be something less, because I wouldn't be legally equal to you, to Mom, or to any heterosexual. Ryan is much of the same, if not worse. The ticket is blatant in its homophobia.

Honestly, I try not to think this way, but it seems like by voting for Romney you're telling me my relationships will never mean as much as yours, that I shouldn't have children, and that I don't deserve protection from discrimination.

You will bring up that there are other issues worth considering, like the GDP and revenues, simplifying the tax code, domestic and foreign policy.

This is why I wonder. Shouldn't your family be more important to you? If I had a chance to possibly (note that this is not a sure thing) change the country's economy for the better, but it came at the cost of your, as a person, right to vote, surely you would expect me to value your civil liberties more? Yes, four years can change a lot about the economy, but it can change an awful lot more about the way I could be allowed to lead my life. Two Supreme Court justices are probably going to change, soon, and it so happens that the Prop. 8 case, which you proudly informed me you voted no on, will be heard soon. Imagine two conservative justices then deciding that my future marriage was unconstitutional. That's not unlikely, it's frightening.

The reason that the legal discrimination against homosexuality continues is at least in some part due to the fact that people like you do not consider it a 'voting' issue. Yes, you aren't against gay marriage, but if a candidate says that they are, it doesn't affect you enough to change your vote.

Shouldn't it, though? It does affect you, directly. I am your child. Voting for someone who would gladly relegate me to second class citizenship is something I can no longer brush aside. You could send a message to your party that they are on the wrong side of this issue. You don't have to vote Democrat. Just don't vote for a party whose platform includes this. It sickens me, and it should sicken you.

Preserving and Protecting Traditional Marriage  (Top)

The institution of marriage is the foundation of civil society. Its success as an institution will determine our success as a nation. It has been proven by both experience and endless social science studies that traditional marriage is best for children. Children raised in intact married families are more likely to attend college, are physically and emotionally healthier, are less likely to use drugs or alcohol, engage in crime, or get pregnant outside of marriage. The success of marriage directly impacts the economic well-being of individuals. Furthermore, the future of marriage affects freedom. The lack of family formation not only leads to more government costs, but also to more government control over the lives of its citizens in all aspects. We recognize and honor the courageous efforts of those who bear the many burdens of parenting alone, even as we believe that marriage, the union of one man and one woman must be upheld as the national standard, a goal to stand for, encourage, and promote through laws governing marriage. We embrace the principle that all Americans should be treated with respect and dignity.

I hope you don't think I will feel like I have been treated with 'respect and dignity' if you let the Republican Party continue to eschew discrimination against me. I hope you think I am just as capable of raising children, of having a family, of loving others.

I hope you also know that I do not intend to inflict guilt. I merely have been reflecting on this troubling issue for a long time, and it truly bothers me that you cannot see how important this is.

With the added knowledge that as a resident of California, your vote for Romney is hardly counted anyway, why vote for someone, and someone's party, who would try so hard to take away so much from me?

Change is one person at a time.

I love you,

Your (more than just a lesbian) daughter.