Updates from the Desk

So, because my inbox isn't tingling with questions, I suppose what I'll have to do is find questions that other people have poised to advice columnists and answer them with my own snark.

I'm thinking I'll start with the basics- Dear Abby, Miss Manners, and of course good ol' Ann Landers. If I feel inclined, I might swing over to Dan Savage as well.

Disclaimer: I don't think I'm anywhere near the level of these people. I just think it will be fun.

First Question!

Question: 'How do you change the car battery in a VW Golf without electrocuting yourself?'

Well, for one, you could get a lesbian to do it for you. Or a mechanic- well, that might end up being the same thing- since if you're electrocuting yourself regularly whilst changing your car batteries, you should probably no longer do it on your own. I find turning the car off and not touching the metal parts of the battery are some of the best ways to avoid electrocution. If you're really paranoid about it, you could wear rubber gloves. Frying any more brain cells by electric shock would probably make it hard to remember that, however.

Really, though, the best thing to remember is to remove the negative connection first (that's the black cable), and reattach it first. And to not touch both metal tips at the same time.

Here's a really thorough article for you, if my advice isn't sufficient.

Information

So, as soon as people email me questions, I will begin to respond via a blog post. I don't care what sort of questions they are. It could be about sex, relationships, friends, money, what car to buy, which breed of elephant would be best suited to your needs as a pet owner... you get the picture. Ask whatever you want.